PET PLAY - PRIMAL PLAY

SCENE IDEA: “Animal Seance”

“you” are exhausted after a long day at work. Another cog in the machine. So you decide to unwind by preparing for a bath. you begin by undoing the noose around your neck. Next, you retire your pants. Stripping off each outer layer- garment by garment. you are down to one final sock. Looking quite silly standing there in your single sock, you peel it off your foot and toss it toward your bed. And at last you see Her. Or rather, She sees you. Her gaze penetrates your naked human body. The look is ruthless, it is as if the eyes themselves have stripped you. you wonder to yourself, “Christ, has this cat been watching me this entire time?” you suddenly feel off guard, ashamed. And then ashamed of your own shame. you feel yourself turning red (see how your body continues to betray you) She of course notices this too. Foolishly, you think to put your clothes back on, but that would require taking a step in her direction, and you don’t have the self respect to do that now. So instead you resort to covering your tiny prick with the palm of your hand. you think it silly that you should be so embarrassed by this cat, and yet you are. She watches you objectively for what you truly are. In your most natural form.

~We can endure horror, each of us we already have. What we can not endure is solitude.~

A small acting out of cruelty temporarily expunged from my system:

I have an early memory of myself at about 7 or so. I’m visiting an Aunt out in the sticks of the California valley. In the backyard is a street dog the kids had taken in. She’s just given birth to a litter of puppies. The little critters swarm their mother for her breast milk. The pups have yet to even open their eyes. They must be drawn to the warmth and scent of their mother. I am alone observing them with curiosity. Then like God itself, I pick up a handful of the puppies and carry them away. Past the comfortably shaded cracked concrete toward the trees in the dried out lawn. It is there that I isolate them onto a hammock, an entire universe away. I watch them blindly search for their mother’s nipple. They try to crawl up and out only to tumble back down disoriented. They continue locked in this repetition. Watching them helpless scratches some internal itch, pleases me to watch. I wonder to myself if they’ll carry this memory of abandonment with them forever as I -afraid of being caught- finally return them to the rest of the litter.

I've never identified with the title of pet owner. Perhaps this is because I more readily identify with the "other". The concept of pets makes me sad. Dogs in particular who love too easily- existing within our temperature mediated homes, touching carpets over Earth, consuming artificial food, receiving limited interactions between their own kind, enjoying the freedom to roam up until reaching the end of Master’s leash. No wonder this makes such ripe playing ground for D/s.

I sweep you off your pedestal of manhood. Let me be the mirror that cracks upon glance.

You might find pretending to be a dog humiliating, liberating, possibly both. Either way, we can agree you look your best on all fours. And for you devoted pups out there, I am happy to engage in the degradation man reaps upon your kind.

However, my preferred title and play style is as a Primal. Whereas the pet owner assumes Domination over the animal, the Primal player finds strength from the animal. Which is just us isn't it, or have you forgotten. Dominion over animals is ingrained in the Western consciousness. Even (maybe especially?) through the English language we cannot escape our anthropocentrism.

-To dehumanize -The inhumane. Is what? ~ Unspeakable cruelty.

(Is this why it seems as though language fails me?) Words get tricky but I trust feeling and movement. That mysterious creature that blinks back at you. Refuses translation, one can only make contact with opacity. Let's try:

Homosapien: apologize for your behavior
Creature: ahfjcieikdnevwgskdlemxbdhjfjycvilopotdstesrdfgfhgtytbrhr

Being a Primal is not easily defined but I will try my best to explain what it means to me in how I play and interact with those around me. Primal play to me is to hyper-focus on desire; relinquishing the chains of "civility".

Primal play is often laden with misconceptions. It does not mean to devolve oneself, nor does this mean shutting down higher brain function. (I note because, I’ve unfortunately seen some community members use the excuse of “going primal” as a sick attempt to deflect consent violations). It is simply an embrace of the raw, instinctual and emotional.

In a scene I most frequently embody the role of Predator, stalking and hunting My prey. I long for the struggle and conquest. Seeing the fear in the eyes of My victim- I mean playmate- pinning them down, rendering them helpless, arouses Me.

I bite into you, leaving you with the crescent moon imprint of My teeth in your flesh, am high off your fear. Relish the taste of your salty tears.

“Becoming animal” can feel akin to unlocking a superpower. It lends its usefulness to me in everyday life. For instance: When men try to eyefuck me on the train, I don’t look away, I match their gaze. A raw kind of look that seeks to hunt and kill. When “cat-called” (haha) on the street, I hiss and bare my teeth at them in joyous rebellion. When I am in a primal headspace, I am no longer even She- I am Creature, genderless.

I don’t like being controlled and I resent domestication in any form.

Thought: If women are supposedly closer to nature perhaps I’d be better off in the woods with a dozen cats and married to a boar. Man has no authority over me or my animal comrades.

“Animal is a word that men have given themselves the right to give”(Derrida). I strip that authority from you now. I’ve returned to the experimental cruelty of my childhood days.