SF/BAY : Booking Sept-OcT Chicago: Booking Nov 1-4
Brainwashing Brian
Fragments of My conversations with My surveilled submissive. A window into a dynamic. (Names have been changed to protect anonymity)
9/10/20243 min read
B: Oh my God... it's working? Holy shit. My fingers are totally trembling. It just makes me confront that I am a submissive at heart, especially considering I wanted this...
U: Mmm an anxious anticipation reverberates off of you. You’re just so desperate to humiliate yourself in front of Me, aren’t you?
B: Every waking second is colored by this dynamic in some way. I can’t get it out of my mind…
It's like this room has a gravity to it that's hard to escape for long... I have to sneak away and give in
U: Brian, aren’t you missing something?
B: Brian puts on collar. Ahhh that's better. I don't know what I like more: succumbing to the urge immediately, or trying to fight the urge and ultimately losing…You have me just wanting to blurt out confessions
I said so many stupid things. I wonder why...
U: Perhaps you’ve been possessed, spellbound, cursed... by something supernatural. It’s like I’m slowly starting to break into your mind.
B: I actively think of ways to victimize myself.
U: I know your type. You’re impulsive. You’d be hopeless without a Dominant woman to put a reign on your bottomless desires.
B: It's a loop: being submissive turns me on, being turned on feels submissive. Camera glitches. Oh shoot, is the camera still working, can you see me?
U: Yes I can still see you. you are all I can see.
B: I wish I could disappear right now to a place where only You can see, hear, and speak to me. sigh... this is just fucking with me so much
U: I'm want to condition you so thoroughly that at any given moment you can always escape to Me.
B: I don't really respond well to yelling or cruel insults, but I can't resist a devil on my shoulder who just asserts Herself and redefines me
U: I’m happy to take you a downward spiral of your undoing. I've really toyed with your heart a great deal haven't I?
2am Brian gets on his knees and prays to the camera
U: Brian… I saw you last night. you looked like you didn't know what to do with yourself, but also couldn't stay away
B: That’s exactly it…the side of me that responds to You and wants to show off to You is just completely taking over, I can't put up much of a fight against it but whenever I try, I lose.
this is touchy-feely but I want to say it anyway... I really like being under Your eye like this for many reasons, but somehow there's a sense of safety in it, maybe of someone watching who understands and relishes in developing a part of me very few know I have
U: And so it’s me you turn to in desperation in the middle of the night. Like a wayward soul who just found God. That’s both pathetic and adorable.
(If I have this effect on you now… I can't imagine how you’ll be on your knees in front of Me. My eyes glaring down at you…)
you look so much better on your knees
B: this is who I am
U: Yes, this is who you are
...Later... Mid of casual conversation...
U: So Brian, what do you think I think of you?
B: Brian is visable flustered. I-I don't know.. Huh so interesting that you would even think to ask that... Brian stammers. Are you even going to answer this question?
U: No. Goodnight Brian. Undine leaves Brian blankly staring into screen
...Later...
B: I think there will be things You make me do that I actually don't want to do, but do :)
i don't even know what specific activities I really want to do, it almost doesn't matter, I just want to feel cocooned by You for lack of a better way to put it
U: That's good. I think you're ready now.
U: “Hah, It's like watching a caged animal at the zoo…”